You Know the Deployment is Over When...

You know a deployment is over when ...
you start to shave your legs again.
~ you notice that babies start to outnumber the number of soldiers on base
~ you have to give back the debit card
~ it takes 2 hours to get onto base and you live 5 minutes away
~ you actually start going to bed before 2am...(but not necessarily getting any more sleep!)
~ your driving privledges have been instantaneously revoked
~ you use more than just the microwave in the kitchen
~ you trip over boots left in the middle of the hall
~ the laundry load triples!
~ your king size bed suddenly feels small
~ you haven't watched Lifetime TV or Oxygen in over a week
~ you are eating a full course dinner everynight
~ your grocery bill triples(or quadruples), but you find yourself replacing batteries a lot less
~you can't find the remote
~you don't have to check the window and door locks 80 times before you go to bed
~ pumping your own gas is a past-time
~ the sound of the doorbell doesn't produce a nauseating feeling
~ the cell phone is no longer a vital accessory
~ there are strange-smelling cammies and PTs in your laundry room and you are THANKFUL for that
~ the TV seems to be stuck on either ESPN or ESPN News
~the garage suddenly becomes a place for social gatherings
~ it is no longer necessary to buy stamps in bulk, or stand in line to ask if the post office has anymore flat rate boxes
~ fitting as much as possible into one of the flat rate boxes is no longer a weekly challenge
~ missing a phone call is no longer the cause of a mild myocardial infarction
~ is it not so scary to see a strange car in your driveway when you get home from work
~ 2 words... birth control (You know it baby!)
~ the closet you finally got cleared out is once again in a shambles and have lost the floor to his gear.
~ you keep finding clothes on the bedroom floor that you know you didnt put there
~ you go to make the bed and there is someone else in it
~ by some miracle the oil in your car has been changed
~ the alarm has suddenly been readjusted to 3am
~ you don't eat leftovers anymore because there are none
~ you neglect some phone calls, because you're actually busy
~ you start watching NFL today again even if you hate it, because what could be better, he's home!
~ pjs, what?
~computers are no longer a lifeline
~ the postmaster no longer recognizes you by name
~ your answering machines no longer say "If this is _______ I love you!!!
~ when the phone rings at 2am, you know it's not for you! (screw that! Our phones will be turned off at 10pm!!!)
~ when you stop taking cold showers because it helps the frustration and start taking cold showers because someone used all the hot water
~ suddenly you have little hairs all over your sink
~ when you stop buying groceries with instructions such as "Heat on high for 90 seconds and stir"
~ you have to check and make sure the toilet seat is down when you get up to pee in the middle of the night
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